There has been a lot of movement in my days since coming home. Things seem to be conspiring to move faster and faster. The spaces for still contemplation or slow making are compressed into slivers that are not effective. I am starting to feel pressured and slightly overwhelmed as the demands are coming from multiple directions simultaneously. This can rapidly become paralysing for me, with the end result being a sense of futile wheel spinning.
I am a list maker. These movement filled days are controlled by items not even on my lists which means the time goes and there is not even the satisfaction of seeing progress through the lists of "to do's". So the internal pressure builds as the "to do" lists lie incomplete. This even becomes evident in this posting, done well after midday!!!! The lists are made to maintain a sense of focus and direction to my days. I am feeling rudderless.
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